


fixing it

by neversleeps



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversleeps/pseuds/neversleeps
Summary: Post-7x13. Damon goes to New York to talk to Elena even if she can’t hear him. He hates having betrayed her, and he desperately needs to fix it.
Relationships: Elena Gilbert/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	fixing it

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't watch season 7, but Tumblr made me all too aware of the writers going *there* anyway. I needed therapy, so I wrote this, with a friend helping me to ensure this was canon-compliant. Previously posted on my Tumblr.

The flight from Richmond to New York is just an hour.

But an hour is plenty of time to think and obsess over what he’s going to tell her.

On a purely rational level, Damon knows it doesn’t really matter. Elena won’t know he’s there, let alone hear whatever he says. And knowing her, she would forgive him anyway. She would hide whatever hurt it caused her, smile and say that she understood.

But he doesn’t want to lie to her, ever. And if he tells her now, maybe it’ll be easier to confess later.

He finds the coffin easily enough, following the long list of directions that Enzo provided. It seems intact, still locked, still sealed, all defenses ready to fall apart only when the witch who cast the spells dies.

Which makes perfect sense, obviously.

He kneels on the cold concrete floor of the storage facility, closing his eyes, his hands reaching out to her and finding only the unresponsive coldness of the coffin.

“Hey,” he says quietly and closes his eyes tightly, fighting against the unexpected tears that burn his eyes. “God, Elena, I miss you. I miss you so much it drives me crazy.”

He takes a deep breath because the lump in his throat makes it hard to talk.

“Long ago, I told you that I loved you, and that I didn’t deserve you. You know, both are still true. I love you, Elena, I love you so much, and I tried to do the right thing by you. This whole time, the only thing holding me together was the knowledge that you would come back to me. That one day we’d be able to forget about everything and just be in our apartment in Portland, happier than anyone in the world has ever been.”

The tears start escaping, and he doesn’t stop them anymore, because nobody can see him, really, and he doesn’t have to hide from Elena.

“I failed you, baby. I’m sorry. I was hallucinating and I could’ve killed you. And when I thought you died… that I killed you myself, I wished I could die. I hoped I would, but it didn’t work out. But I didn’t stop there.”

The words taste bitter, and he knows it’s because he never imagined something like that to be an issue in their relationship. “She looked like you, and I thought if I closed my eyes, I could pretend it was you. That for a moment, I could forget you were dead and weren’t ever coming back.” He shakes his head. “It didn’t work, of course. Made me even more disgusted with myself.”

For a moment, he wishes he’d brought a drink, but Elena deserves his sincerity without liquid courage. “I think I drank all the bourbon I found at the Lockwoods’. Do you remember how you moved in and you drank bourbon? And now I know that when you kissed me, I was drunk on the taste of your lips, and no bourbon in the world is stronger than that.”

He wipes his tears hastily with the back of his palm because it just reminds him he could have lost the chance to feel it again, forever. He could have lost _her_ forever, for real. “Baby, I know you’ll forgive me, though maybe you shouldn’t. But I promise you, I won’t let you down again. And when we’re together again, I’ll do anything, everything to fix this. To make you happy. Okay?”

She doesn’t answer, of course; it’s not like she can. But somehow, he feels like they talked, anyway, and smiles to himself, getting to his feet. “I’ll see you soon. We always find our way back to each other, right?”

Now, he just needs to wait. 


End file.
